There are many changes in the air here in Texas, and it’s not just the weather! If you don’t already know, I’m currently serving in the US Air Force (Obligatory Disclaimer: My opinions reflected in this blog are not a reflection of the opinions of the US Air Force). I have been serving for just under four years now, and my fiance Jonathan and I have decided that the military lifestyle was not what we wanted for our family.
I’ve applied for separation, and before doing so, I’ve applied to my dream school and was recently accepted to the University of Pennsylvania’s Nursing and Healthcare Administration MSN program! I still have to pinch myself on the cheek when I think about it. The imposter syndrome will be in full force upon day one of going back to school.
But back to my original topic—the changes! Jonathan and I have been thrilled about moving. We also have a number of many other things to prepare for, which is a little hectic: A military separation, a destination wedding with our families, then a reception back home in California where we both grew up. It makes me a bit anxious to think about all of these things at once, but I’m more grateful than anything. These problems, I’ve learned, were good problems—the problems that I want.
If you asked me five years ago, I wouldn’t have in a million years thought that I’d be here today in my situation. If you asked me 10 years ago, I would have been too preoccupied with surviving the day to day to think about having problems like the ones I have now.
Sometimes, I have to think hard to remember things used to be. When everything was in the air and all I really was fighting for was a way out of my parent’s house, I had a single goal: make it through Nursing School and practice nursing in the USAF. It guaranteed two things 1) A way out of the house where the trauma happened, and 2) Financial independence. Somehow I felt that if I achieved these two things, everything would be alright. I would be happy.
What I didn’t realize was that the ultimate achieving of a goal wasn’t what brought happiness. I was happy in California—surrounded by my closest friends, a driving distance from all of my favorite places to run and hike, and working towards my goals. I know, it’s so cliché: It isn’t the destination, it’s the journey.
When I was finally stationed in Texas, it was a struggle to lose a familiar support system. Jonathan ultimately became my one support system, and while I was learning how to live in a new state, I very quickly learned how beneficial it was to have a support system other than my significant other.
Poor Jonathan—he must have went nuts for a little bit while we were adjusting. It took us maybe a few years before I could finally explore my own hobbies and interests without feeling obliged to do every single thing with him.
Moving away from what we considered home was a learning experience, and we’re looking forward to the next one. While there are still many uncertainties, there’s too much to be grateful for now.
To close, here are a list of things I’m looking forward to:
- The Wedding
- The Wedding Reception
- Living somewhere more urban
- A greater diversity of food options
- Experiencing a full 4 seasons
- Experiencing what it feels like to live in below 30 degree weather
- Releasing Relentless Podcast
- Working on my book
- Maybe starting a crochet group for survivors
- Going back to school!
- Adventuring nature in the East Coast
- Living close to my sister
This long list seems a little ambitious, and I’m wary of over-committing myself to the point that I used to when I was younger…but I think it makes a huge difference that I know in my heart of hearts that these are the things I want to achieve. Lara Casey, Founder of Cultivate My Life, has an amazing podcast about goal-setting that I’ve been listening to since I’ve purchased the Powersheets. She’s helped me to understand that understanding the why behind my goals well help me to adapt when it’s time to achieve them. That although I may not be able to achieve everything that I set out to do for the year, progress is what is most important.
With that, I think that I’ll end this here. Thank you for being a part of a very exciting time in my life. Stay relentless! ♥