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THE RELENTLESS PROJECT

Exploring Life after Child Sexual Abuse

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Announcement: Blog Post Comments Disappearing
S1E3: Finding and Making a Safe Space – Part 1 (Tool #2 of the Survivors Toolbox)
R1E4: Dealing with Uncertainty (Rambles Series)
S1E2: Taking a Moment to Honor Yourself (Tool #1 of the The Survivor’s Toolbox)
R1E3: 8 Elements of a Healthy Friendship (Rambles Series)

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relentlessjoanna

I have one podcast episode in the cue, but with th

I have one podcast episode in the cue, but with the race to leave the state, I might not be able to podcast for a while! I have been hesitant to pause, but the podcast will be on a hiatus until September. I will continue to work on my illustrations and my website of resources while I can 💕. Thank you for your patience as I navigate through this large change with everything that is going on. I wish you good health and healing, and am committed to spotlighting great resources and tools.

A perfect visualization of why one Survivor's stru

A perfect visualization of why one Survivor's struggle may vastly differ from the next.
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If it looks complicated, it's because it is complicated! 🤷‍♀️
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If you're wondering why your path differs from someone else's, it's because everyone experiences #intersectionality differently.
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The upcoming episode is "Sharing Your Story". Although I recorded and it editted this episode before June, it is relevant to those of us who are beginning to understand the effects of intersectionality.
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Are you Black? Are you gay? Are you a mother? Have you been divorced? Did the abuse happen in your own home?
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All of the different circumstances that connect you to that event translate to the outcome, or the aftermath. ..
Although we may not be ready to share our story at any degree, it's important to know yours.
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I wish you peace and good healing. I will soon be releasing informational resources, exploring different intersectionalities.
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I will begin with Black Mental Health resources, and articles and resources I find geared towards those who are Black/African American, because #representationmatters 🖤.
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A figure from the article "An Ecological View of Psychological Trauma and Trauma Recovery" from the Journal of Traumatic Stress, by Mary Harvey (1996)
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#mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingabuse #survivingtrauma #survivingsexualabuse #psychologicaltrauma

This one's a long one...so I've shared screenshots

This one's a long one...so I've shared screenshots of my message instead. Marching in Austin has opened my eyes to the enormity of love by so many people who do not understand, but understand that this problem is bigger than themselves.
There's so much to gain from simply and truly listening. My heart reaches out to the Black people who must face the retraumatization of their own experiences to make the change they want to see. May love win.

No caption for this one. No hashtags. Just heartbr

No caption for this one. No hashtags. Just heartbreak for what's happening in the country. I've be deliberating what to say, but my gut has been driving me to take action instead. I hope to bring resources to be helpful during a time like this. But forgive me, as I continue to process/learn/navigate my battles within myself, my family, and community.
The Relentless Project stands against sexual abuse. With that, I can't advocate for this and ignore the rights of my Black neighbors, friends, colleagues.

Any crime committed to a Black person or person of color should be met with proper justice. I stand with BLM.

#blackouttuesday #podcastblackout Please see the

#blackouttuesday #podcastblackout

Please see the following links for more information on how to support and self-educate. 👉 https://blacklivesmatter.com 👉 https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co
If you know more, I would love to share. Just let me know. Still learning.
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The one saddening similarity between the Black Lives Movement and the Me Too movement, is that no one will truly understand unless they've experienced it first hand. ---
My experience is not the same as the experience of a Black woman or man in our society. But the anger, and the pain sounded familiar. It bothered me, and I couldn't put my finger on it yesterday. The anger and pain sounded familiar, because it was the pain of the unheard.
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Their voices must be amplified. May the wrongful deaths and treatment of those in the Black community be met with justice. But even more so, may we stand up to be better human beings in general, regardless of each other's differences in race, in ethnicity, in skin color.
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This week, I will not be posting any Relentless Project content in solidarity of my Black brothers and sisters.
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I hope to share more about what I learn from continuing to research more about the movement, and it's important to all of us. --- ---Edit, If you decide to participate, let's refrain from using BLM hashtag on posts, I've been informed that it clogs the IG system; I've needed to delete and repost without the hashtag---

Finding and Making a Safe Space is an essential to

Finding and Making a Safe Space is an essential tool for the survivor. For *detailed* timestamps and assignments, check out the website at www.relentlesspodcast.com. 🌼

Join the conversation! Leave a comment here, or DM me. Your feedback, your words, are very impactful. Thank you for those that had shared their thoughts with me. (Note, website comments are down, and have been wiped for some odd reason 😩).
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I've made some significant changes to mixing/mastering...and when I say I, I mean my life partner Jonathan 😂. I went to him with my sound editting woes, and he has been so gracious to dedicate a portion of his time every week to help me 🥺👉👈. 🌼

Jon and I have been making huuuge changes, and we are anticipating a move to a new state this upcoming August 2020! 🌼

With all of the changes happening in the background and active healing, online therapy has been a wonderful, welcome breath of fresh air. And all of this mentally possible with my safe spaces.
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If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN's hotline 1-800-656-4673. I have also listed numerous resources on my website that include online chat hotlines. You do not have to go through this alone.
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#therelentlessproject #survivingsexualtrauma #metoo #podcastersofinstagram #audiogram #procreate #survivingtrauma #cptsdrecovery #cptsd

Have been experimenting with new sounds, technique

Have been experimenting with new sounds, techniques...and Jon's been a huge help in mixing/mastering! Amidst everything else going on in our lives...a state-to-state move, a large career shift, going back to school, etc...this project has been a very welcome part of my weekly routine.
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I hope and pray that what we work on helps others. There's so much more content out there that courageous survivors make, and every voice, every project makes a difference. I'm humbled to hold space next to these voices.
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If you would like to share art, a poem, your voice, your story...let me know. This is for you. This is for me too, don't get me wrong (it's fun), but this ultimately is for you.
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Hoping you all had an easy Tuesday.
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#csa #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #MeToo #podcastersofinstagram #cptsdrecovery #traumasurvivor #traumarecovery #artistsway #imac #tascam

Just finished my final edits of the next episode f

Just finished my final edits of the next episode for the Survivor's Toolbox series "Finding and Making a Safe Space" 🙃🌼.
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This will be one of two parts, as I recognize that designating a safe personal space also means we must also become familiar with how to protect these spaces, especially if they are our own.
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So this upcoming episode will go into how to make a safe space and why it's important, and the part 2 of this episode will be more about boundaries, and understanding how to effectively use our safe spaces.
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Boundaries are a a challenge for many survivor's of SA/CSA, but I think that starting out with a physical safe personal space helps exercise our ability to make and reinforce personal boundaries.
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Safe spaces also provide us with a soothing environment that is conducive to personal Self-Regulation when we slip into "panic" or "stress mode"
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So stay tuned for the next episode this upcoming Wednesday 🌼. Sending love and good energy this Saturday, from my safe space to you.
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#safespace #therelentlessproject #podcastersofinstagram #procreate #bardotbrushes #illustration #beach #cuteillustration #MeToo #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #cptsd #mentalhealth #mentalwellness

I've been refamiliarizing myself with playing and

I've been refamiliarizing myself with playing and singing music again.
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I have a complicated relationship with music (I'll probably get into that for a Ramble). This will be a surprise to many who know me from singing at church for hours every week for nearly 8-10 years 🎤🎵🎶.
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I love singing and writing music 🎹🎸🎼. For years since we moved out of our home state, I've struggled to go back to singing and writing.
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I would sing for different things, but I couldn't feel the spiritual connection that I did to my music when I used to sing every week. This was painful to admit 💔.
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It wasn't until now that I've discovered that a big part of me struggling to reconnect with my creativity was largely from becoming very skilled at keeping my emotions at bay after years of practice (being a bedside nurse reinforced that for me, too)🙅🏻‍♀️.
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Now that I am now learning how to process my emotions in a healthy way, I feel like I can experience life as vibrantly as I did 4-5 years ago 🌈. Instead of only feeling the extremes of emotion...I could now feel the "in-betweens" 🌊.
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So I've been listening to music, playing music on the guitar, and singing again 🎧🎤🎶. And just like it did 4-5 years ago, it's feeding my soul in so many ways 💕.
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I plan share my music with others again. But until then, I'm going to honeymoon it with one of my favorite guitars from Jon's collection, and my redeveloped guitar string calluses 🥰.
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#metoo #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #cptsd #music #healingwithmusic #guitar #taylor #reflection #morningpages #journaling

R1Ep4 "Dealing with Uncertainty" of the Rambles Se

R1Ep4 "Dealing with Uncertainty" of the Rambles Series is out, where I walk through how to systematically deal with uncertainty. 🌼
If there's anything you'd like to add, or anything you have a question about, join the conversation and leave a comment!
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Believe it or not, this was recorded outside, with some really loud birds and wind rustling through trees. Jon did such a great job mixing/mastering this 😍! So volume-wise, this should be much improved despite my shifty microphone use (I'm working on it, I swear).
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The Relentless Project uploads every Wednesday, so don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe to the podcast to stay updated with new episodes like this.
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#metoo #metoomovement #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #cptsd #anxiety #copingskills #uncertainty #planning #therelentlessproject

So it turns out that I'm a major "noob" and didn't

So it turns out that I'm a major "noob" and didn't realize until my latest episode that the podcast plays back much lower in volume than I hoped on some devices 🔉🔊🥴.
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Luckily, I have a supportive life partner that knows how to the mixing/mastering that would normally take me hours to learn 😅. 🌼
So now I'm not the only one who listens to episodes back and forth 100 times to get the sound right 😂. I raise my glass to this wonderful human being, my rock and unofficially official IT guy/Sound Engineering guy/Website Guy 🥂. Thank you Jon! 🌼
The back end of the podcast takes hours to make possible, so ALL feedback is welcome 🙌💻.
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I've recently received requests to work on volume/sound consistency, especially during interviews, break apart concepts with sound bits, and to talk about DENIAL. All of which, I look to address.
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Thank you for those who have taken the time to give me feedback both positive and negative (or as I'd like to call it, directional feedback). 🌼
I am serious about this project, and I want to deliver the best product I can. I'm planning to dedicate myself to a year of podcasting and see how it goes---one episode a week 🤗.
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Stay tuned for tomorrow's episode about "Dealing with Uncertainty"
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#MeToo #metoomovement #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #survivingabuse #cptad #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #podcastersofinstagram #therelentlessproject

The best way to deal with uncertainty is to addres

The best way to deal with uncertainty is to address your worries in a systematic way. 🌼
As a chronic worry wart and overthinker, compartmentalizing and planning have been my saving grace.
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Dealing with the anxiety over things I don't have control over is still a work in progress, but my therapist has been an awesome partner in working through my backlog of many, many worries.
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She's also helped me to realize that some of the things I've adopted as "my responsibility" are not truly my own 🤔 (ie. How misunderstanding family members will respond to the telling of my story).
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Categorizing our worries and planning for the controllables can be challenging at first, but it's truly worthwhile ☺️. 🌼
Spending energy on the things we have control on, is empowering in moments of helplessness.
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Here's a sneak peak visual aid for this week's upcoming episode: "Dealing with Uncertainty."
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#MeToo #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #therelentlessproject #podcastersofinstagram #procreate #bardotbrush #copingskills #anxiety

Play foam (like playdough, but foam balls), on top

Play foam (like playdough, but foam balls), on top of my other routine practices (creative planning) has been my new go-to for anxiety.
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I respond well tactile methods, so this uniquely formed object takes the edge off anxiety very well. Mind you, my anxiety doesn't disappear, but it's easier to manage.
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The goal is to be able to think clearly despite the anxiety.
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I'm looking to make an emergency sensory kit for when I have full blown panic attacks, one based around the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, to include play foam.
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I'm just giddy that I get to appease the #adultchild inside me and call it "taking care of my mental health" 🤪.
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What are your favorite methods for anxiety management?
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#anxiety #MeToo #metoomovement #floam #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #playfoam #mindfulness #selfregulation #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #cptsd

Jeanette joins me in a chat about different Coping

Jeanette joins me in a chat about different Coping Mechanisms we may have used as a survivor of sexual trauma, Mindfulness, and Self-Care versus Self-Regulation.
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For this episode I used "The Courage To Heal" by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass, and information from RAACE.org.
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If there's anything more that you are interested in hearing more about, let me know via www.relentlesspodcast.com, or through this IG post (or DM me!). For timestamps and best ways to use this episode, check out the website 🤓.
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If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN's hotline 1-800-656-4673.
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#MeToo #metoomovement #survivingsexualtrauma #childsexualabusesurvivor #sexualtrauma #survivor #therelentlessproject #audiogram #podcastersofinstagram #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalwellness

This is Jeanette 💕. She has been my soul sister

This is Jeanette 💕. She has been my soul sister since the 3d grade, having been a significant support in my trauma throughout the years...but she's much more than that.
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She's finishing her Master's of Science in Clinical Psychology and she's representing the voice of the underrepresented in her field. She is completing her practicum in Asian Americans for Community Involvement (AACI), providing therapy for children and adolescents with thier families.
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She's also thoroughly involved in her area of study extracurricularly in places like the Genesis Healing Institute (as a director for 2020 Undergraduate Fellowship).
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As a Chicana with experiences growing up with parents who used to be undocumented, she's incredibly passionate about advocating and standing up for the rights of those who are silenced institutionally, politically or socially 🗣️📢.
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She's passionate about helping others, and providing opportunities to the disenfranchised, and about healing, and finding ways to heal yourself and others 🌱.
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When she gets the chance to breathe, she's a huge unapologetic nerd 🤓 (boardgames, Dr. Who, Marvel, etc) and loves giving the Biggest 🤗. Hugs🤗. Ever 🤗. She's a wife, a big sister, a loved daughter, and an one of my best friends. And a fricken fan-tastic dancer 💃.
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A huge proponent of mental health she asserts "Take 👏 Care 👏 Of 👏 Your 👏 Brain ,👏 Like 👏 You 👏 Take 👏 Care 👏 of 👏 Your 👏 Body!"
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She cracks me the HECK up 😂 and there's so much about her and our relationship that I want to share with you.
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Tomorrow I will be releasing the 1st deep-dive into the Survivor's Toolbox, Season 1 Episode 2 "Take the Time to Honor Yourself".
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We will talk about many of the different ways a survivor of CSA may have coped with trauma, mindfulness, and self-care.
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I couldn't have thought of anyone better than to have this academic conversation with 🌼. I know she's a super busy bee 🐝, but I truly hope to have more of her with me on the podcast 😍.
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#metoo #metoomovement #survivingsexualtrauma #silentnomore #therelentlessproject #mentalwellness #mentalhealth

Healing from trauma can be a lot like caring for a

Healing from trauma can be a lot like caring for a new plant 🌱. At first, you'll be bewildered about where to begin 🤔😖. There will be seasons---of growth, of no growth, of poor growth.. While there may be some brown or yellowing, it takes some time to understand the plants needs, for the environment it's in 🌄. ⠀
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Ultimately, it takes knowledge 🧠, adjustments 🔧, and patience 🙏 until you find the right groove for yourself 💕. Sometimes it may seem much harder than it should be, and sometimes it will feel like you're moving in the wrong direction, but you'll get there ☝️. ⠀
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And at that point, you'll blink your eyes, and find that you have grown 🌱. Maybe just a bit, but enough for you to notice 🤔🧐😄. And it will be different, a better kind of different.⠀
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The growth doesn't stop. You'll continue to flourish, there will be leaves you grow out of, but all for the better. It gets better, it gets easier, if you keep working at it.⠀
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Hang in there, bud 🌱.⠀
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#metoo #metoomovement #survivingtrauma #survivingabuse #survivingchildsexualabuse #cptsd #illustration #kawaii #procreate #bardotbrushes #plants #planting #quoteoftheday #positivity #selflove #selfcare #patience #houseplants

My journaling practice is something I keep near an

My journaling practice is something I keep near and dear to my heart. After years of trying to tune out my own voice, giving my thoughts and feelings thier own space has helped me to stay grounded
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I aim for 1-3 pages of free flowing thinking each day, and sometimes I don't feel like writing at all.
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But checking in with myself throughout the day in this way has helped me to gain insight on patterns of my life, my thoughts, my actions.
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I mark my pages---blue for personal insight, green for things I want to take action on.
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My pages are my safe space, and I honor my thoughts and my feelings in the moments I write.
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I live my wildest dreams through my journal, and a let my creative mind be as crazy and jumbled as she wants to be (you do you boo!). 🌱
I've learned to be gentle with myself in this process. And to embrace the perfectly imperfect complexity of the heart and mind. 🌱
Hoping for your healing, and that this evening brings you peace and comfort.
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#survivingsexualtrauma #survivingabuse #MeToo #metoomovement #silentnomore #couragetoheal #journaling #writing

Having "healthy friendships" can be difficult afte

Having "healthy friendships" can be difficult after CSA, specifically from having our boundaries disrupted earlier in life. Some pointers from my perspective. For timestamps and how to best use each episode, visit http://www.relentlesspodcast.com/2020/05/06/r1e3-healthy-friendships-rambles-series/⠀ Did I miss anything 🤔? What are your thoughts ? Join me in the conversation and comment through the website above, or through my instagram @relentlessjoanna.⠀
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And be sure to Rate, Comment, and Subscribe ☝️🙃. Your support means increasing the chances of the next victim or survivor to stumble upon resources like this (not just my project!) 📈.⠀
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I have committed to releasing episodes every Wednesday 👏 👏 👏 . Ya'll. If you don't know me, I've got laser focus and the commitment of a patient and hard working ant 🌱🐜🐜🐜.⠀
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This project means the world to me, and I hope that I can give at least one survivor a voice that they've been needing to hear 🙏👂❤️.⠀
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There's hope in healing, and reclaiming your life. We are relentless.⠀
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Website: relentlesspodcast.com⠀
Podcast: The Relentless Project (Itunes, Spotify, Google Play, Podbean)⠀
Facebook Page: The Relentless Project Podcast⠀
Twitter: Relentlessproj⠀
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#therelentlessproject #metoo #metoomovement #silentnomore #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #survivingchildsexualabuse #childsexualabuse

Yesterday's workspace as I work on my latest episo

Yesterday's workspace as I work on my latest episode for this upcoming Tuesday 🤗. Thank you @hellosweetie_x for being such a loving and patient guest. We are doing this again!
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#therelentlessproject #podcastersofinstagram #survivingtrauma #survivingsexualabuse #silentnomore

Affirmation of the Day 🌄.⠀ 🌱⠀ Do you kno

Affirmation of the Day 🌄.⠀
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Do you know what your internal messages are? Not just the ones you tell yourself with words, but the ones that you tell yourself with your actions?⠀
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When my therapist told me these words of affirmation, I cried like a baby 🤕. Until my last therapy session, I hadn't realized that I had been telling myself the opposite message this entire time 📢.⠀
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This is a positive affirmation I am needing as I go through this process, as I choose to have courage through the fear of sharing my vulnerability. I have been working on patience with myself while actively healing 🌺.⠀
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And I'm sharing this with you, because I strongly believe, whomever you are, that your story deserves to be heard, and that you deserve to heal 📢❤️.⠀
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Maybe at first this message will feel hollow for a while at first. They won't have meaning, and you may believe the opposite.⠀
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It is with repitition and practice (either by telling yourself verbally or writing it down) that these affirmations can help us rewire our brains (thank you neuroplasticity 🧠). Here are some pointers...⠀
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🌺🌺🌺How to practice verbal affirmations🌺🌺🌺:⠀
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1. Choose five minutes out of your day, 3 times a day (morning, afternoon, evening)⠀
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2. Repeat the affirmation to yourself, deliberately, out loud, with conviction (even if you don't have any for that moment) three times⠀
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🌺🌺🌺How to practice written affirmations (great if you are a kinesthetic learner like me)🌺🌺🌺:⠀
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1. Choose the affirmation you want to focus on⠀
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2. Find a time in the morning and the evening to write this down⠀
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3. Write it down 10 times in the morning, 10 times in the evening⠀
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Have you tried affirmations before? What are the ones you want to work on?⠀
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Sending love.⠀
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#survivingtrauma #survivingsexualabuse #affirmations #selflove #metoo #metoomovement #procreate #bardotbrush⠀
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Side note, I am so in love with this @bardotbrush pencil set I found for Procreate! Highly recommend to any #illustrator

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