THE RELENTLESS PROJECT

Exploring Life after Child Sexual Abuse

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  • S1E4: Acknowledging and respecting where you are in this journey now (A Deep Reflection)
  • Survivor Conversation 001: Maranda’s Story
  • R1E6: Crisis Mode (Rambles Series)
  • R1E5: Sharing Your Story (Rambles Series)
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๐Ÿ”ˆNew episode is live!๐Ÿ”ˆ ๐Ÿฅณ Join in for a de ๐Ÿ”ˆNew episode is live!๐Ÿ”ˆ ๐Ÿฅณ Join in for a deep reflection. The first step to creating meaningful change is to acknowledge where we stand in our path at this very moment โ˜ฎ๏ธ. This episode is split into four categories that are separate but interlinked: Considerations of the ๐Ÿง mind, ๐Ÿ‘คspirit, ๐Ÿ self-sustainment, and the ๐Ÿง‘๐Ÿพโ€๐Ÿฆผ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿฆฏ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธbody.

Visit www.relentlesspodcast.com for detailed ๐Ÿ“timestamps, a free ๐Ÿ“„printable to help you walk through this reflection, and a ๐Ÿ“„printable resource for Grounding Techniques and an Emotions Reference Sheet from The Therapistโ€™s Aid LLC. ๐Ÿค” What speaks the most for you? Which things do you react strongly to? Respect and be patient with the process. Where you are at this very moment is exactly where you need to be.

๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ™Let me know what you think about the printable Reflection Guide from the blog post! It took a considerable amount of time, but I thought it would be incredibly helpful for such an involved reflection. It made me think about the possibilities of making Survivorโ€™s Toolbox workbook, complete with artwork, diagrams, and space to write in...๐Ÿค”

๐Ÿ“ŒIf you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN's hotline 1-800-656-4673. There are also numerous resources on the website that include online chat hotlines. You are not alone.

๐Ÿ“ŒI am not a trained therapist or counselor. This is a free resource using literature and nonprofit resources available online, dedicated to a community of survivors. If you are able, finding therapy or counseling can be a valuable component to healing from sexual assault/abuse.

๐Ÿ“ŒVisit www.relentlesspodcast.com for detailed timestamps. Leave support, questions, and comments on this post on this post, or through a private message to this instagram account.

#survivingchildsexualabuse #survivingsexualtrauma #metoomovement #thesurvivorstoolbox #therelentlessproject #procreate #illustration #podcastersofig #podcastersofinstagram #healingfromtrauma #healingfromsexualtrauma
If you don't know me in person, I have an obsessio If you don't know me in person, I have an obsession for pens, highlighters stationary in general ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿฅฐ ๐Ÿ–Œ๏ธ๐Ÿ–๏ธ๐ŸŽจ๐Ÿ–Š๏ธ๐Ÿ–‹๏ธ๐Ÿ“”๐Ÿ“‘๐Ÿ“–. 

Working on  episodes for the Survivor's Toolbox is very cerebral ๐Ÿง , and I want to make sure that I use credible literature, studies, and resources when I share information.

So sifting through information takes patience, and a myriad of colors and my favorite highlighters ๐ŸŒˆ, post-its, and matcha lattes (yummy) ๐Ÿตโ˜•. My mentor called me a rainbow learner, and he wasn't wrong ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ. 

Stay tuned for another episode release this weekend, where I'll guide through the fourth tool: "Acknowledging and respecting where you are in this journey now" (it's a mouthful of a title ๐Ÿ˜…). It's a very involved reflection that I'm making a free printable for to use, based on the research I'm doing for the episode.

Have a wonderful rest of the week ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿคธ๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒป.

#survivingsexualabuse #survivingsexualassault #survivingchildsexualabuse #therelentlessproject #metoomovement #breakthesilence #stationary #podcastersofig #podcastersofinstagram
Just a friendly reminder that each episode comes w Just a friendly reminder that each episode comes with detailed timestamps on the website www.relentlesspodcast.com ๐Ÿ™ƒ.

Have a good Monday ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿฅฐ.

#therelentlessproject #relentlessproject #metoomovement #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingchildsexualabuse #podcastersofinstagram #podcastersofig #procreate #procreateillustration
Our first interview is live ๐Ÿฅณ. [Trigger Warning Our first interview is live ๐Ÿฅณ. [Trigger Warning: Episode content includes experiences of child sexual abuse] 

Join me with Maranda as she shares her journey as a child sexual abuse survivor for the first time with the Relentless Project ๐ŸŽง๐ŸŽคโค๏ธ. 

Maranda (@marandaawilliams ) is 29 years old and hails from Kentucky. She is a vibrant, loving Momma to two beautiful boys ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€๐Ÿ‘งโ€๐Ÿ‘ฆ, and a warrior through and through โš”๏ธ. Maranda leads life with a gold heart ๐Ÿ’› and an iron fist ๐Ÿ’ช.

She shares about how she's grown up in an unpredictable home, and how she's been able to finally break free from a  history of recurrent child sexual abuse at the age of 8.

Everytime I replayed this episode during the editing phase, I would get chills from her bravery. She is a survivor sharing her story to fight the stigmas behind victims of sexual assault, and to remind survivors that they are not alone.

If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN's hotline 1-800-656-4673. I have also listed numerous resources on my website that include online chat hotlines. You do not have to go through this alone.

Please note that I am not a trained therapist or counselor. This podcast is a free resource using existing literature and nonprofit resources available online, dedicated to a community of sexual assault survivors. If you are able, finding therapy or counseling is a valuable component to healing from sexual assault/abuse.

For detailed episode timestamps, visit www.relentlesspodcast.com. Leave your support, questions, and comments on our Instagram @relentlessjoanna.
Jonathan is the absolute bestest for helping me ma Jonathan is the absolute bestest for helping me master my episodes. He's the ๐Ÿง  behind the sound magic, and I couldn't be doing this without him ๐Ÿคธ. Editing takes hours ๐Ÿ•›๐Ÿ•ง๐Ÿ•๐Ÿ•œ, and thanks to Jon's gifted ears and skills, I can focus on the content-making portion of the project ๐Ÿ˜ญโค๏ธ๐Ÿ™.

In the next 30 minutes I'm releasing our first interview on the project, a conversation I had with Maranda months ago when Jon and I JUST moved to the East Coast. She rekindled a spark I thought I lost through personal burnout, and it was an incredible conversation. 

Last night Jon and I stayed up until about 1:30am to finish mastering the interview. It's a whopping 1 hour and 22 minute episode, and every minute is worth a listen.

Stay tuned! ๐Ÿ™๐ŸŽผ๐ŸŽง

#relentlessproject #survivingchildsexualabuse #survivingsexualtrauma #podcasting #podcastersofinstagram #metoomovement #survivingsexualabuse
Wishing you a Happy New Year from my home to yours Wishing you a Happy New Year from my home to yours.

I decided to end the year doing something I love doing the most...getting lost in the trees of a hiking trail, and trying to find my way back home.

I cut it close this time while the sun was setting ๐Ÿ˜…...my poor sense of direction challenges me to live life on the edge, every single time ๐Ÿงญ. I was worried I'd have to walk down dark streets of unknown neighborhoods to make it back ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ.

But I made it, and I found this beautiful little man-made fountain at the end of my trail, adorned with the words "Peace Now" on it โค๏ธ.

I almost didn't leave the apartment that day, but I'm glad that I did. Sometimes I slip into that mode where I'm waiting for someone or something, and forget that I can do things for myself when I need to. I needed this artist's date out in nature ๐Ÿž๏ธ. It lasted for half a day (I took the wrong bus to my destination), but it was so worth it. It got my heart๐Ÿซ€pumping for more reasons than one, and I was able to hike up and down trails next to a gorgeous river while the sun set.

Each hike teaches me something new each time. This one taught me to enjoy every moment while I can, even when I get lost and don't know where I'm going ๐Ÿคธ. As clichรฉ as it sounds: Not all who wander are lost ๐Ÿชต๐Ÿชจ. Much like the respective healing paths we take as survivors...of which take quite a bit of trial and error ๐Ÿ˜ฌ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’•.

I hope you have a wonderful year aheadโค๏ธ. Live fully, and don't wait for your moments. Make them, take them, no matter what ๐ŸŒฑ.

Stay Relentless. 

#sexualabuseawareness #sexualabusesurvivor #mentalhealth #chilsexualabuseawareness #childsexualabusesurvivor
I wish you a warm holiday season from my little fa I wish you a warm holiday season from my little family (Jon, me & Maeby ๐Ÿพ) to yours.

I hope you find comfort in everything, regardless of size or significance. Find some peace in stillness, reach out to those who bring wholeness to your life.

For some of us, this holiday season may be challenging for more reasons than one. I hope and pray that there is light somewhere in your day, and for better days to come. This year has been an awakening for many of us and about who and what we hold dear. Whether we like it or not, we've become more introspective about the lives we lead. Many of the people and things we've wrapped ourselves around may not be here anymore, or not for now. It's okay to feel pain, it's okay to feel empty, it's okay to be angry this holiday season if these are the feelings you hold.

Hold on to hope, hold on to love, and find a way to love yourself if you haven't done so already.

Today's festivities are much more downscaled today, but we are thankful for music, coffee, time, and space. 

I hope you are safe, and I hope you are well.

Love, Joanna
Celebrating the completion of my first semester of Celebrating the completion of my first semester of grad school with a renewed energy and focus this winter break ๐ŸŒจ๏ธโ„๏ธ! (Don't mind me rats nest of a hairdo ๐Ÿ˜‚)

Here's a snapshot of the most time consuming, less glamorous part of the process --- cutting โœ‚๏ธ, editing ๐Ÿ–๏ธ (luckily I leave mastering to Jon). 

Many times I'll listen to an episode at least three times over, constantly rewinding and listening to different parts ๐ŸŽง๐ŸŽ›๏ธ.

This piece I do with the most respect. Maranda's the first person that I'll have ever interviewed on the podcast, and her voice and story hold so much strength ๐Ÿ™. 

We interviewed right after I moved to the East Coast, with almost no gear...so my audio is a bit rough ๐Ÿ˜ฉ, but hers is crystal clear, and I'm so thankful I shared this time with her โค๏ธ.

I can't wait to share this woman's courage and determination with you. 

Thank you @marandaawilliams for sharing your story with me, and with the project ๐ŸŒฑ!

#survivingchildsexualabuse #metoomovement #survivingtrauma #podcastersofig #podcastersofinstagram #logic #moodlighting #winterprojects
Just wanted to take a moment to say Thank You, for Just wanted to take a moment to say Thank You, for sharing this space with me. I wish you a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. 

The holidays used to be much more difficult for me to celebrate, but thanks to my closest friends and my fiancรฉ, I've been able to celebrate them in my own, peaceful, joyful way.

Years ago, my fondest Thanksgiving memory was surfing different dinner parties. It was a different time (sans pandemic), and I decided that I would take the holiday into my own hands. I didn't want to sit down feeling captive and pretending to be happy in the house I was abused in.

My closest two friends and I ventured to different extended family/family friend/friend Thanksgivings together like siblings, laughing and feasting on turkey and different types of pie. Pumpkin was my favorite. They reminded me that if you gave yourself the chance, you could make something terrifying into something much sweeter, and pleasant.

If this speaks to you, I hope you find peace and safety today. Take the courage to explore the different ways you can make the holidays your own.

I send you peace today, and wish you good healing.

#survivingsexualtrauma #childsexualabusesurvivor #sexualabusesurvivor #cptsdrecovery  #mentalhealth #thanksgiving #bardotbrushes #bardotbrush
New episode is LIVE ๐Ÿฅณ! Long and awaited. Again, New episode is LIVE ๐Ÿฅณ! Long and awaited. Again, here are 6 Steps to help manage a mental crisis. For detailed timestamps, visit www.relentlesspodcast.com

If you have any questions let or comments, feel free to leave them in this instagram post, or to drop me a DM ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ.

Thank you for your patience. It's wonderful to be back ๐Ÿ™ƒ. #relentlessproject
Upcoming Episode ๐ŸŽง: How to manage a mental cris Upcoming Episode ๐ŸŽง: How to manage a mental crisis, or "Crisis Mode" as I call it. I'll go through 6 actionable steps to help manage a mental crisis:

1: Re-Evaluate ๐Ÿคน: What am I juggling now?

2. Re-Prioritize ๐Ÿง: What do I absolutely need to get done, what can I pause, snip, delegate?

3. Simplify โœ‚๏ธ: Reduce your responsibility to BELOW your usual abilities

4. Make a Few Goals ๐Ÿ“: A few tangible ones, and establish halfway-point markers for those goals

5. Reflect ๐Ÿ“–๐Ÿ–‹๏ธ: Reflect your progress on a daily basis. What would you do different? What would you do again? Have you made progress toward your goals?

6. Replenish ๐ŸŒฌ๏ธ: Take up slow hobbies, or things that give you energy. This is not selfish, this is necessary.

- - -

I am excited to be back with a new episode ๐Ÿฅณ! I've been working on the podcast quite a bit...a different rhythm and pace, but a better mindset to provide to this community that I care so deeply about.

I have decided to release episodes at a slower frequency, with a focus on quality versus quantity, and to stay involved with my Instagram page through introspection.

Don't forget, I put a whole lot of effort in time-stamping my episodes in great detail...if this will be helpful for you, visit www.relentlesspodcast.com

#survivingtrauma #survivingchildsexualabuse #metoomovement #metoo #relentlessproject #managingmentalcrisis #mentalhealth
๐ŸšจSpotlight Saturday: Unexpected Mindfulness Too ๐ŸšจSpotlight Saturday: Unexpected Mindfulness Tool๐Ÿšจ Playing games is one of my favorite ways to spend time in between personal projects and grad school. I'll play alone, or sometimes with Jon. It can be something incredibly complicated like this, or even simple like Bananagrams.

There's scientific literature that suggests that playing strategy boardgames can help with memory๐Ÿง , logic ๐Ÿค“, creativity ๐Ÿ–Œ๏ธ, and can help you forge bonds with others ๐Ÿง๐Ÿ“ƒ๐Ÿ“Š.

For myself, I find all this to be true...but I also find it a great tool to practice mindfulness. It's also a wonderful healthy and fun antidote for when I get into episodes of overthinking ๐Ÿฅด.

What are your favorite games to play?

#cptsdrecovery #childsexualabusesurvivor #boardgames #agricola
Social anxiety, especially in regard to my own tra Social anxiety, especially in regard to my own trauma, is something that I still navigate with some internal challenges. I know it's odd, considering that this platform I share is all about learning how to live with your truth, and that I've shared my background with others here (albeit, without detail).

In person, I am much more cautious about bringing up the Relentless Project in casual conversation with new people. It helps me avoid the "How did you start?" Or "Why did you start?" questions. I am an introvert, mostly taking comfort in sharing my ideas and thoughts with a trusted few people. 

So I felt conflicted when my fiancรฉ so sweetly shared my podcast with others at a local outdoor bar with a few people. He didn't share details, just mentioned that it was something that I've pursued. He was proud that I started recording again. He invited me down to meet a couple new people, and naturally, my new acquaintances asked about the project.

It put me in an odd situation, because I just finished recording an episode. It takes mental and emotional focus and energy to create from a vulnerable place, and I preferred to reflect and work on other types of art or music after recording.

I didn't expect the question, so I didn't have time to prepare myself. I realized that I could have lied, but the Relentless Project is something that I felt like shouldn't be hidden. So without getting into detail, I shared what the Relentless Project was for, what it was about. There was a bit of an awkward pause...one that I was kind of anticipating, but couldn't decide if I regretted sharing something that can be taken as pretty depressing, especially for a first conversation.

I later told Jon how I felt, and he apologized. He could tell that I was pretty upset, it felt awkward because the other two left as soon as I shared that information.

I later found out that one of them, was likely a survivor (or maybe exposed to that type of trauma). He found my fiancรฉ at the bar, and told him that he was crying. It was dark, we couldn't see it.

(Continued in comments)
For anyone needing the peaceful sound of waves cra For anyone needing the peaceful sound of waves crashing into the shore.
I'll be honest, like for many survivors, it's been I'll be honest, like for many survivors, it's been rough balancing my "have to dos" with my self-regulation and self care. I've been more focused on building content with less of an emphasis on illustration, and re-evaluating how I want to use this space. 

I've decided to release content at a decreased frequency, but with more shared introspection. There's been a lot of that lately.

Like many others in America, I've been on edge about the election. While I am hoping for a certain outcome, I have been pacing my information intake. 

In general, I've been pacing my social media intake, working on projects I can work on with my hands. Cross stitching, needlepointing, making homemade warm beverages like a matcha or golden latte. Studies have shown that activities such as these have a significant effect on reducing stress.

As a trauma survivor, I understand that my body's stress reaction is different from what is considered "normal". So while it can be an important navigation system (like my emotions can be), it's important to manage them, so I can continue to do the things I need and want to do.

I'm not as productive as I used to be, but I'm certainly healthier. I have room to think, breathe, process new information. I'm not burnt out as I was three months ago.

Bottom line? Take care of yourself. Don't shame yourself for what you can't do right now. There's so much going on in the world, so taking care of your soul, your body, is incredibly important. Cultivate and nourish peace and harmony in yourself, even when life is difficult. 

- - -

My next upcoming episode is "Crisis Mode," where I will talk about how to manage life when it feels like everything is out of control.

I also have a lovely interview in the works with Maranda, which I'll discuss more as I get closer to completion of that episode.

And of course, a continuation of the Survivor's Toolbox.

#survivingsexualtrauma #survivingchildsexualabuse #survivingtrauma #relentlessproject #selfcare #selflove #selfregulation
Alas! Unearthed from piles of boxes. I've been del Alas! Unearthed from piles of boxes. I've been deliberately planning my approach to the project as Jonathan finalizes our little studio and all the plug-ins that make the podcast possible ๐ŸŒฑ.

Next up: A chat about boundaries, and an interview with the brave Maranda ๐ŸŽค๐ŸŽง.

I feel like I have so much to share. Many of us survivors have been challenged in more ways than one during this pandemic. 

While I've been antsy to start the podcast  while everything's being put together again, I've been reflecting ๐Ÿ“–, and taking this time to regather and recharge after a long period of time chasing and putting out  the fires of life ๐Ÿ”ฅ.

I wish you healing and peace. Have a wonderful evening!
A recipe for an easy night's sleep. Tonight's line A recipe for an easy night's sleep. Tonight's lineup: The Art of Racing in the Rain, journaling, my hobonichi planner, and water to sip on. What are your bedside must-haves? ๐Ÿ™ƒ. I wish you a peaceful evening.
There will always be a pull to many directions ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ‘ˆโ˜๏ธ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿ‘‡. When there are calls for needs and wants from multiple directions, this can magnified by the personal and collective challenges of this year. While you may be driven to participate in every fight, take a pause, and don't forget to fill your cup first, every single day ๐ŸŒฑ.โ €
โ €
As my beloved friend Leandra would always tell me "You can't pour from an empty cup."โ €
โ €
Fill your cup first. Create an ecosystem in your life that is sustainable. The many battles we approach today as survivors are marathons, not sprints. โ €
โ €
Be good to yourself, and know that self care is not selfish. Self care is not only important, it is necessary.โ €
โ €
At the end of each day, I would reflect on how well I took care of myself today, and I would determine the following:โ €
โ €
โœ๏ธ 1. What would I do again?โ €
โœ๏ธ 2. What would I do different?โ €
โ €
Commit to yourself, make those adjustments the next day, and pay attention to how you feel the next day.โ €
โ €
I wish you good healing!โ €
โ €
--- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---โ €
โ €
That being said, I'm back! I was able to have a wonderful interview with Maranda, which I'll share in the upcoming weeks. My fiance and I just moved across the country and have unpacked the essentials --- to include things I will need for recording and creating.โ €
โ €
Thank you all for your continued support as I return to the Relentless Project :).โ €
โ €
#selfcare #therelentlessproject #survivingtrauma #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingchildsexualabuse
If you need a break, commit yourself to one! Unplu If you need a break, commit yourself to one! Unplug, unwind. Don't give yourself a hard time for not doing the things you think you "should" do. You are dealing with life's stressors, and more than likely going through a healing journey during a pandemic. 

Give yourself some grace ๐Ÿ™.

Back at it again ๐Ÿค—. It's been a while, and I'm a little slow at working on things for the Relentless Project, but as soon as Jonathan and I get to our next home this week (we're moving out of state!) I'll be in full swing. 

I'm going through a huge life transition, and we're finally towards the good end of it. 

Thank you to those who have had faith in the Relentless Project.

I hope you all are well amidst everything. 

Remember, you are never alone, and you deserve grace, peace, and healing.
I have one podcast episode in the cue, but with th I have one podcast episode in the cue, but with the race to leave the state, I might not be able to podcast for a while! I have been hesitant to pause, but the podcast will be on a hiatus until September. I will continue to work on my illustrations and my website of resources while I can ๐Ÿ’•. Thank you for your patience as I navigate through this large change with everything that is going on. I wish you good health and healing, and am committed to spotlighting great resources and tools.
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