THE RELENTLESS PROJECT

Exploring Life after Child Sexual Abuse

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  • Announcement: Blog Post Comments Disappearing
  • S1E3: Finding and Making a Safe Space – Part 1 (Tool #2 of the Survivors Toolbox)
  • R1E4: Dealing with Uncertainty (Rambles Series)
  • S1E2: Taking a Moment to Honor Yourself (Tool #1 of the The Survivor’s Toolbox)
  • R1E3: 8 Elements of a Healthy Friendship (Rambles Series)

 

 

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A recipe for an easy night's sleep. Tonight's line A recipe for an easy night's sleep. Tonight's lineup: The Art of Racing in the Rain, journaling, my hobonichi planner, and water to sip on. What are your bedside must-haves? πŸ™ƒ. I wish you a peaceful evening.
There will always be a pull to many directions πŸ˜±πŸ‘ˆβ˜οΈπŸ‘‰πŸ‘‡. When there are calls for needs and wants from multiple directions, this can magnified by the personal and collective challenges of this year. While you may be driven to participate in every fight, take a pause, and don't forget to fill your cup first, every single day 🌱.β € β € As my beloved friend Leandra would always tell me "You can't pour from an empty cup."β € β € Fill your cup first. Create an ecosystem in your life that is sustainable. The many battles we approach today as survivors are marathons, not sprints. β € β € Be good to yourself, and know that self care is not selfish. Self care is not only important, it is necessary.β € β € At the end of each day, I would reflect on how well I took care of myself today, and I would determine the following:β € β € ✏️ 1. What would I do again?β € ✏️ 2. What would I do different?β € β € Commit to yourself, make those adjustments the next day, and pay attention to how you feel the next day.β € β € I wish you good healing!β € β € --- --- --- --- --- --- --- --- ---β € β € That being said, I'm back! I was able to have a wonderful interview with Maranda, which I'll share in the upcoming weeks. My fiance and I just moved across the country and have unpacked the essentials --- to include things I will need for recording and creating.β € β € Thank you all for your continued support as I return to the Relentless Project :).β € β € #selfcare #therelentlessproject #survivingtrauma #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingchildsexualabuse
If you need a break, commit yourself to one! Unplu If you need a break, commit yourself to one! Unplug, unwind. Don't give yourself a hard time for not doing the things you think you "should" do. You are dealing with life's stressors, and more than likely going through a healing journey during a pandemic. Give yourself some grace πŸ™. Back at it again πŸ€—. It's been a while, and I'm a little slow at working on things for the Relentless Project, but as soon as Jonathan and I get to our next home this week (we're moving out of state!) I'll be in full swing. I'm going through a huge life transition, and we're finally towards the good end of it. Thank you to those who have had faith in the Relentless Project. I hope you all are well amidst everything. Remember, you are never alone, and you deserve grace, peace, and healing.
I have one podcast episode in the cue, but with th I have one podcast episode in the cue, but with the race to leave the state, I might not be able to podcast for a while! I have been hesitant to pause, but the podcast will be on a hiatus until September. I will continue to work on my illustrations and my website of resources while I can πŸ’•. Thank you for your patience as I navigate through this large change with everything that is going on. I wish you good health and healing, and am committed to spotlighting great resources and tools.
A perfect visualization of why one Survivor's stru A perfect visualization of why one Survivor's struggle may vastly differ from the next. .. If it looks complicated, it's because it is complicated! πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ .. If you're wondering why your path differs from someone else's, it's because everyone experiences #intersectionality differently. .. The upcoming episode is "Sharing Your Story". Although I recorded and it editted this episode before June, it is relevant to those of us who are beginning to understand the effects of intersectionality. .. Are you Black? Are you gay? Are you a mother? Have you been divorced? Did the abuse happen in your own home? .. All of the different circumstances that connect you to that event translate to the outcome, or the aftermath. .. Although we may not be ready to share our story at any degree, it's important to know yours. .. I wish you peace and good healing. I will soon be releasing informational resources, exploring different intersectionalities. .. I will begin with Black Mental Health resources, and articles and resources I find geared towards those who are Black/African American, because #representationmatters πŸ–€. .. A figure from the article "An Ecological View of Psychological Trauma and Trauma Recovery" from the Journal of Traumatic Stress, by Mary Harvey (1996) .. #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingabuse #survivingtrauma #survivingsexualabuse #psychologicaltrauma
This one's a long one...so I've shared screenshots This one's a long one...so I've shared screenshots of my message instead. Marching in Austin has opened my eyes to the enormity of love by so many people who do not understand, but understand that this problem is bigger than themselves. There's so much to gain from simply and truly listening. My heart reaches out to the Black people who must face the retraumatization of their own experiences to make the change they want to see. May love win.
No caption for this one. No hashtags. Just heartbr No caption for this one. No hashtags. Just heartbreak for what's happening in the country. I've be deliberating what to say, but my gut has been driving me to take action instead. I hope to bring resources to be helpful during a time like this. But forgive me, as I continue to process/learn/navigate my battles within myself, my family, and community. The Relentless Project stands against sexual abuse. With that, I can't advocate for this and ignore the rights of my Black neighbors, friends, colleagues. Any crime committed to a Black person or person of color should be met with proper justice. I stand with BLM.
#blackouttuesday #podcastblackout Please see the #blackouttuesday #podcastblackout Please see the following links for more information on how to support and self-educate. πŸ‘‰ https://blacklivesmatter.com πŸ‘‰ https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co If you know more, I would love to share. Just let me know. Still learning. --- The one saddening similarity between the Black Lives Movement and the Me Too movement, is that no one will truly understand unless they've experienced it first hand. --- My experience is not the same as the experience of a Black woman or man in our society. But the anger, and the pain sounded familiar. It bothered me, and I couldn't put my finger on it yesterday.Β The anger and pain sounded familiar, because it was the pain of the unheard. --- Their voices must be amplified. May the wrongful deaths and treatment of those in the Black community be met with justice. But even more so, may we stand up to be better human beings in general, regardless of each other's differences in race, in ethnicity, in skin color. --- This week, I will not be posting any Relentless Project content in solidarity of my Black brothers and sisters. --- I hope to share more about what I learn from continuing to research more about the movement, and it's important to all of us. --- ---Edit, If you decide to participate, let's refrain from using BLM hashtag on posts, I've been informed that it clogs the IG system; I've needed to delete and repost without the hashtag---
Finding and Making a Safe Space is an essential to Finding and Making a Safe Space is an essential tool for the survivor. For *detailed* timestamps and assignments, check out the website at www.relentlesspodcast.com. 🌼 Join the conversation! Leave a comment here, or DM me. Your feedback, your words, are very impactful. Thank you for those that had shared their thoughts with me. (Note, website comments are down, and have been wiped for some odd reason 😩). 🌼 I've made some significant changes to mixing/mastering...and when I say I, I mean my life partner Jonathan πŸ˜‚. I went to him with my sound editting woes, and he has been so gracious to dedicate a portion of his time every week to help me πŸ₯ΊπŸ‘‰πŸ‘ˆ. 🌼 Jon and I have been making huuuge changes, and we are anticipating a move to a new state this upcoming August 2020! 🌼 With all of the changes happening in the background and active healing, online therapy has been a wonderful, welcome breath of fresh air. And all of this mentally possible with my safe spaces. 🌼 If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN's hotline 1-800-656-4673. I have also listed numerous resources on my website that include online chat hotlines. You do not have to go through this alone. 🌼 #therelentlessproject #survivingsexualtrauma #metoo #podcastersofinstagram #audiogram #procreate #survivingtrauma #cptsdrecovery #cptsd
Have been experimenting with new sounds, technique Have been experimenting with new sounds, techniques...and Jon's been a huge help in mixing/mastering! Amidst everything else going on in our lives...a state-to-state move, a large career shift, going back to school, etc...this project has been a very welcome part of my weekly routine. 🌼 I hope and pray that what we work on helps others. There's so much more content out there that courageous survivors make, and every voice, every project makes a difference. I'm humbled to hold space next to these voices. 🌼 If you would like to share art, a poem, your voice, your story...let me know. This is for you. This is for me too, don't get me wrong (it's fun), but this ultimately is for you. 🌼 Hoping you all had an easy Tuesday. 🌼 #csa #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #MeToo #podcastersofinstagram #cptsdrecovery #traumasurvivor #traumarecovery #artistsway #imac #tascam
Just finished my final edits of the next episode f Just finished my final edits of the next episode for the Survivor's Toolbox series "Finding and Making a Safe Space" πŸ™ƒπŸŒΌ. . This will be one of two parts, as I recognize that designating a safe personal space also means we must also become familiar with how to protect these spaces, especially if they are our own. . So this upcoming episode will go into how to make a safe space and why it's important, and the part 2 of this episode will be more about boundaries, and understanding how to effectively use our safe spaces. . Boundaries are a a challenge for many survivor's of SA/CSA, but I think that starting out with a physical safe personal space helps exercise our ability to make and reinforce personal boundaries. . Safe spaces also provide us with a soothing environment that is conducive to personal Self-Regulation when we slip into "panic" or "stress mode" . So stay tuned for the next episode this upcoming Wednesday 🌼. Sending love and good energy this Saturday, from my safe space to you. . #safespace #therelentlessproject #podcastersofinstagram #procreate #bardotbrushes #illustration #beach #cuteillustration #MeToo #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #cptsd #mentalhealth #mentalwellness
I've been refamiliarizing myself with playing and I've been refamiliarizing myself with playing and singing music again. 🌱 I have a complicated relationship with music (I'll probably get into that for a Ramble). This will be a surprise to many who know me from singing at church for hours every week for nearly 8-10 years 🎀🎡🎢. 🌱 I love singing and writing music 🎹🎸🎼. For years since we moved out of our home state, I've struggled to go back to singing and writing. 🌱 I would sing for different things, but I couldn't feel the spiritual connection that I did to my music when I used to sing every week. This was painful to admit πŸ’”. 🌱 It wasn't until now that I've discovered that a big part of me struggling to reconnect with my creativity was largely from becoming very skilled at keeping my emotions at bay after years of practice (being a bedside nurse reinforced that for me, too)πŸ™…πŸ»β€β™€οΈ. 🌱 Now that I am now learning how to process my emotions in a healthy way, I feel like I can experience life as vibrantly as I did 4-5 years ago 🌈. Instead of only feeling the extremes of emotion...I could now feel the "in-betweens" 🌊. 🌱 So I've been listening to music, playing music on the guitar, and singing again 🎧🎀🎢. And just like it did 4-5 years ago, it's feeding my soul in so many ways πŸ’•. 🌱 I plan share my music with others again. But until then, I'm going to honeymoon it with one of my favorite guitars from Jon's collection, and my redeveloped guitar string calluses πŸ₯°. 🌱 #metoo #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #cptsd #music #healingwithmusic #guitar #taylor #reflection #morningpages #journaling
R1Ep4 "Dealing with Uncertainty" of the Rambles Se R1Ep4 "Dealing with Uncertainty" of the Rambles Series is out, where I walk through how to systematically deal with uncertainty. 🌼 If there's anything you'd like to add, or anything you have a question about, join the conversation and leave a comment! 🌼 Believe it or not, this was recorded outside, with some really loud birds and wind rustling through trees. Jon did such a great job mixing/mastering this 😍! So volume-wise, this should be much improved despite my shifty microphone use (I'm working on it, I swear). 🌼 The Relentless Project uploads every Wednesday, so don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe to the podcast to stay updated with new episodes like this. 🌼 #metoo #metoomovement #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #cptsd #anxiety #copingskills #uncertainty #planning #therelentlessproject
So it turns out that I'm a major "noob" and didn't So it turns out that I'm a major "noob" and didn't realize until my latest episode that the podcast plays back much lower in volume than I hoped on some devices πŸ”‰πŸ”ŠπŸ₯΄. 🌼 Luckily, I have a supportive life partner that knows how to the mixing/mastering that would normally take me hours to learn πŸ˜…. 🌼 So now I'm not the only one who listens to episodes back and forth 100 times to get the sound right πŸ˜‚. I raise my glass to this wonderful human being, my rock and unofficially official IT guy/Sound Engineering guy/Website Guy πŸ₯‚. Thank you Jon! 🌼 The back end of the podcast takes hours to make possible, so ALL feedback is welcome πŸ™ŒπŸ’». 🌼 I've recently received requests to work on volume/sound consistency, especially during interviews, break apart concepts with sound bits, and to talk about DENIAL. All of which, I look to address. 🌼 Thank you for those who have taken the time to give me feedback both positive and negative (or as I'd like to call it, directional feedback). 🌼 I am serious about this project, and I want to deliver the best product I can. I'm planning to dedicate myself to a year of podcasting and see how it goes---one episode a week πŸ€—. 🌼 Stay tuned for tomorrow's episode about "Dealing with Uncertainty" 🌼 #MeToo #metoomovement #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #survivingabuse #cptad #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #podcastersofinstagram #therelentlessproject
The best way to deal with uncertainty is to addres The best way to deal with uncertainty is to address your worries in a systematic way. 🌼 As a chronic worry wart and overthinker, compartmentalizing and planning have been my saving grace. 🌼 Dealing with the anxiety over things I don't have control over is still a work in progress, but my therapist has been an awesome partner in working through my backlog of many, many worries. 🌼 She's also helped me to realize that some of the things I've adopted as "my responsibility" are not truly my own πŸ€” (ie. How misunderstanding family members will respond to the telling of my story). 🌼 Categorizing our worries and planning for the controllables can be challenging at first, but it's truly worthwhile ☺️. 🌼 Spending energy on the things we have control on, is empowering in moments of helplessness. 🌼 Here's a sneak peak visual aid for this week's upcoming episode: "Dealing with Uncertainty." 🌼 #MeToo #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #mentalhealth #mentalwellness #therelentlessproject #podcastersofinstagram #procreate #bardotbrush #copingskills #anxiety
Play foam (like playdough, but foam balls), on top Play foam (like playdough, but foam balls), on top of my other routine practices (creative planning) has been my new go-to for anxiety. . I respond well tactile methods, so this uniquely formed object takes the edge off anxiety very well. Mind you, my anxiety doesn't disappear, but it's easier to manage. . The goal is to be able to think clearly despite the anxiety. . I'm looking to make an emergency sensory kit for when I have full blown panic attacks, one based around the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, to include play foam. . I'm just giddy that I get to appease the #adultchild inside me and call it "taking care of my mental health" πŸ€ͺ. . What are your favorite methods for anxiety management? . #anxiety #MeToo #metoomovement #floam #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #playfoam #mindfulness #selfregulation #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingtrauma #cptsd
Jeanette joins me in a chat about different Coping Jeanette joins me in a chat about different Coping Mechanisms we may have used as a survivor of sexual trauma, Mindfulness, and Self-Care versus Self-Regulation. . For this episode I used "The Courage To Heal" by Laura Davis and Ellen Bass, and information from RAACE.org. . If there's anything more that you are interested in hearing more about, let me know via www.relentlesspodcast.com, or through this IG post (or DM me!). For timestamps and best ways to use this episode, check out the website πŸ€“. . If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN's hotline 1-800-656-4673. . #MeToo #metoomovement #survivingsexualtrauma #childsexualabusesurvivor #sexualtrauma #survivor #therelentlessproject #audiogram #podcastersofinstagram #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalwellness
This is Jeanette πŸ’•. She has been my soul sister This is Jeanette πŸ’•. She has been my soul sister since the 3d grade, having been a significant support in my trauma throughout the years...but she's much more than that. . She's finishing her Master's of Science in Clinical Psychology and she's representing the voice of the underrepresented in her field. She is completing her practicum in Asian Americans for Community Involvement (AACI), providing therapy for children and adolescents with thier families. . She's also thoroughly involved in her area of study extracurricularly in places like the Genesis Healing Institute (as a director for 2020 Undergraduate Fellowship). . As a Chicana with experiences growing up with parents who used to be undocumented, she's incredibly passionate about advocating and standing up for the rights of those who are silenced institutionally, politically or socially πŸ—£οΈπŸ“’. . She's passionate about helping others, and providing opportunities to the disenfranchised, and about healing, and finding ways to heal yourself and others 🌱. . When she gets the chance to breathe, she's a huge unapologetic nerd πŸ€“ (boardgames, Dr. Who, Marvel, etc) and loves giving the Biggest πŸ€—. HugsπŸ€—. Ever πŸ€—. She's a wife, a big sister, a loved daughter, and an one of my best friends. And a fricken fan-tastic dancer πŸ’ƒ. . A huge proponent of mental health she asserts "Take πŸ‘ Care πŸ‘ Of πŸ‘ Your πŸ‘ Brain ,πŸ‘ Like πŸ‘ You πŸ‘ Take πŸ‘ Care πŸ‘ of πŸ‘ Your πŸ‘ Body!" . She cracks me the HECK up πŸ˜‚ and there's so much about her and our relationship that I want to share with you. . Tomorrow I will be releasing the 1st deep-dive into the Survivor's Toolbox, Season 1 Episode 2 "Take the Time to Honor Yourself". . We will talk about many of the different ways a survivor of CSA may have coped with trauma, mindfulness, and self-care. . I couldn't have thought of anyone better than to have this academic conversation with 🌼. I know she's a super busy bee 🐝, but I truly hope to have more of her with me on the podcast 😍. . #metoo #metoomovement #survivingsexualtrauma #silentnomore #therelentlessproject #mentalwellness #mentalhealth
Healing from trauma can be a lot like caring for a Healing from trauma can be a lot like caring for a new plant 🌱. At first, you'll be bewildered about where to begin πŸ€”πŸ˜–. There will be seasons---of growth, of no growth, of poor growth.. While there may be some brown or yellowing, it takes some time to understand the plants needs, for the environment it's in πŸŒ„. β € .β € Ultimately, it takes knowledge 🧠, adjustments πŸ”§, and patience πŸ™ until you find the right groove for yourself πŸ’•. Sometimes it may seem much harder than it should be, and sometimes it will feel like you're moving in the wrong direction, but you'll get there ☝️. β € .β € And at that point, you'll blink your eyes, and find that you have grown 🌱. Maybe just a bit, but enough for you to notice πŸ€”πŸ§πŸ˜„. And it will be different, a better kind of different.β € .β € The growth doesn't stop. You'll continue to flourish, there will be leaves you grow out of, but all for the better. It gets better, it gets easier, if you keep working at it.β € .β € Hang in there, bud 🌱.β € .β € #metoo #metoomovement #survivingtrauma #survivingabuse #survivingchildsexualabuse #cptsd #illustration #kawaii #procreate #bardotbrushes #plants #planting #quoteoftheday #positivity #selflove #selfcare #patience #houseplants
My journaling practice is something I keep near an My journaling practice is something I keep near and dear to my heart. After years of trying to tune out my own voice, giving my thoughts and feelings thier own space has helped me to stay grounded 🌱 I aim for 1-3 pages of free flowing thinking each day, and sometimes I don't feel like writing at all. 🌱 But checking in with myself throughout the day in this way has helped me to gain insight on patterns of my life, my thoughts, my actions. 🌱 I mark my pages---blue for personal insight, green for things I want to take action on. 🌱 My pages are my safe space, and I honor my thoughts and my feelings in the moments I write. 🌱 I live my wildest dreams through my journal, and a let my creative mind be as crazy and jumbled as she wants to be (you do you boo!). 🌱 I've learned to be gentle with myself in this process. And to embrace the perfectly imperfect complexity of the heart and mind. 🌱 Hoping for your healing, and that this evening brings you peace and comfort. 🌱 #survivingsexualtrauma #survivingabuse #MeToo #metoomovement #silentnomore #couragetoheal #journaling #writing
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