S1E5:  Pacing Your Journey (The Survivor’s Toolbox)

Season 1 Episode 5


Join in as we navigate what it means to take healing from sexual abuse โ€œat your own pace.โ€

If you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN’s hotline 1-800-656-4673. There are also numerous resources on the website that include online chat hotlines. You are not alone.

I am not a trained therapist or counselor. This is a free resource using literature and nonprofit resources available online, dedicated to a community of survivors. If you are able, finding therapy or counseling can be a valuable component to healing from sexual assault/abuse.

Leave support, questions, and comments on Instagram @relentlessjoanna.

Timestamps:

  • 00:00 – 01:39  Introduction
  • 01:39 – 02:39  Considerations to take before deciding which pace
  • 02:40 – 05:23  Important pointers
  • 05:24 – 14:52  Knowing when to slow down
  • 14:53 – 20:48  Knowing when you can take on more
  • 20:49 – 22:34  Outro

Homework:

  1. Taking your own pace means deciding what your biggest priorities are right now
  2. Consider the following things:
    • Do you have a proper support system?
    • Do you have a safe space you can land and where you can decompress?
    • Can you make time without sacrificing your basic necessities for physically living
    • Do you know your personal warning signs or triggers?
    • Are you familiar with healthy ways to decompress?

Announcements

  • I am officially back in grad school, so episode release will fluctuate until the end of this season…so thank you for your patience and support as I too, work this at my own pace :)…we’ve got just three more episodes to go, woohoo!
  • Best way to contact The Relentless Project is through the Instagram @relentlessjoanna
  • I have been thinking about making a survivor workbook…what do you think? Would love your thoughts.

Anything that I’ve missed? Make this the best for you, and leave a comment through the Instagram post for this episode @relentlessjoanna, or as a private message through that same account :).

Until next time :P.

Survivor Conversation 001:  Maranda’s Story

Interview 001


Trigger Warning: Content includes experiences of child sexual abuse

Join us with Maranda as she shares her journey as a child sexual abuse survivor for the first time with the Relentless Project. She shares about how she’s grown up in an unpredictable home, and how she’s been able to finally break free from a trying history of recurrent abuse at the age of 8.

If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN’s hotline 1-800-656-4673. I have also listed numerous resources on my website that include online chat hotlines. You do not have to go through this alone.

Please note that I am not a licensed or trained therapist or counselor. This podcast is a free resource using existing literature and nonprofit resources available online, dedicated to a community of sexual assault survivors. If you are able, finding therapy or counseling is a valuable component to healing from sexual assault/abuse.

Timestamps:

  • 00:00 – 04:57  Introduction
  • 04:57 – 0:39  How child sexual abuse has affected Maranda growing up
    • 10:20 – 11:44 Shame & Misplaced Fault
  • 11:44 – 29:09  The recurrent sexual abuse
    • Revisiting your story & patience with self
  • 29:10 – 43:08  The discovery of the abuse & the aftermath
  • 43:09 – 48:32  Struggling with depression, therapy, lack of a support system
  • 48:33 – 1:19:34  Retrospective thoughts
    • 48:33 – 50:09  Question: What would you tell your 9-year old self?
      • 50:10 – 51:29  Having patience and showing compassion with your younger self
    • 51:30 – 53:58  Question: Things that you’ve learned about yourself, now that you’re uncovering your own history?
    • 53:58 – 57:29  Question: Who taught you the most about love?
    • 57:30 – 1:04:59  Maranda’s mom
    • 1:05:00 – 1:17:36  Healing later in life, Letting go of her mom
    • 1:17:37 – 1:19:34  Question: What advise would you give to someone who has been through similar circumstances?
  • 1:19:52 – 1:22:22  Outro & Relentless Project Updates

Announcements

  • I’m still here! I have been releasing episodes at a slower frequency (yay grad school), but this winter break has given me plenty of opportunity to create more content
  • If you want to leave a comment on this episode, leave one on the episode post through our Instagram account @relentlessjoanna
  • If you too would like to share your story on the Relentless Project just like Maranda, send me a private message through our Instagram account @relentlessjoanna

Lastly, Is there anything that I’ve missed? If you have the time, I would appreciate it if you helped me make this the best for you, and leave an honest comment :).

Until next time…Stay Relentless.

 

 Rambles Series: Crisis Mode

Rambles Season 1 Episode 6 (R1E6)


An episode dedicated to how to manage a mental crises in your healing path after sexual trauma. 6 Actionable steps to help you regather yourself when something seems to have tipped your life completely off balance. 

Timestamps:

  • 00:00 – 02:15   Introduction 
  • 02:16 – 03:07   Definition of “Crisis Mode” for the episode
  • 03:42 – 04:20  Overview
  • 04:21 – 05:49  1) Re-evaluate
    • 05:49 – 08:50  Personal Example
  • 08:55 – 13:34  2) Re-prioritize
    • 10:19 – 12:44  Personal Example
  • 13:35 – 16:  3) Simplify
    • 15:01 – 16:36  The ability to do everything isn’t a measuring stick for success in your healing journey
    • 16:35 – 17:56  The importance of communication
    • 17:56 – 20:32  Personal Example
  • 20:33 – 30:34  4) Make a Few Goals
    • 21:24 – 22:39  Personal Example
  • 22:39 – 24:50  5) Reflect
    • 22:36 – 24:50  Personal Example
  • 24:50 – 26:41  6) Replenish
  • 26:41 – 28:50  Outro, updates

Other Notes:

Thank you for your patience. I love this project, and hope that it brings you something that you can shape into your own. A healing journey is so unique between each person, and must be respected. 

 Rambles Series: Sharing Your Story

Rambles Season 1 Episode 5 (R1E5)


When you are ready, you may find you want to share your story. Whether you seek to understand your own story or share your story to someone whom you trust, this may be helpful for you.

I recorded this episode before Mr. George Floyd murder has circulated the internet like a storm. I, like many other Americans and American minorities are distraught. 

As a CSA survivor, it has been difficult not to feel pain, anger, and frustration toward indifference at the face of obvious injustice and systematic oppression and racism.

It was after this recording that I had witnessed brave Black colleagues in my hospital share their personal everyday encounters with racism and oppression. Their experiences were a string of traumas and protective behaviors from frequent exposure to hate and ignorance.

In solidarity with our Black brothers and sisters, survivors or not—I will be introducing a new set of resources dedicated to different intersectionalities. 

Timestamps:

  • 00:00 – 01:17   Introduction
  • 01:17 – 01:56   Overview
  • 01:56 – 02:29   The different types of sharing (Therapist, Support Group, New Lover, Friend, Public)
    • 03:34 – 05:49  How you may feel when you tell your story
  • 05:50 – 07:19  Taking care of yourself throughout the process
    • Find a dedicated safe space and time
    • Gather materials (emergency contacts, pens, journal, art supplies)
    • Deep breathe, meditate, guided meditations
    • Understand how to know when it’s time to stop or pause before continuing next time
      • Extreme anxiety
      • Hyperstimulated or triggered
      • Overwhelmed
      • Dissociated
      • Feeling Numb
      • Heart Racing, Sweating
    • Consider therapy
      • RAINN.org 
  • 12:41 – 14:00  Putting your story together
  • 14:01 – 17:54  Choosing whom to tell and how
  • 17:55 – 28:21  How to support a survivor telling their story
  • 28:22 – 30:34  When you don’t get the support that you need
  • 30:35 – 34:31  Conclusion

Other Notes:

I have been hesitate to pause, but my partner, my dog, and I are going through a tremendous life change. As I transition out of the military, we are racing the clock to move out of our house before ultimately moving out of the state. For the sake of my own mental health, I have decided to concentrate my efforts on this transition, and to continue my work through illustrations and my website.

With events and policies affecting the lives of those in the Black and LBGTQ+ communities, I hope to share resources to those of us who may experience those intersectionalities. 

Additionally, I hope to share resources for those who are interested in conversations about prevention. While The Relentless Project is ultimately geared toward the survivor, I hope to share other resources for those who are interested in taking action. Advocating for prevention is the answer for the generations of the future.

I hope that you have a wonderful rest of your day/evening. May you find peace, may you find healing.