S1E3:  Finding and Making a Safe Space – Part 1 (Tool #2 of the Survivor’s Toolbox)

Season 1 Episode 3 – Part 1

Lets explore the concept of Finding and Making a Safe Space!

If you feel like you are in danger of hurting yourself or someone else, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or RAINN’s hotline 1-800-656-4673. I have also listed numerous resources on my website that include online chat hotlines. You do not have to go through this alone.


  • 00:00 – 2:50  Introduction
  • 00:14 – 0:39  Overview of The Survivor’s Toolbox
  • 00:54 – 01:56  Opening Questions
    • Where do you go when you encounter something that is triggering for your trauma?
    • Do you have a safe space, or multiple safe spaces, that you call your “personal spaces?”
    • Do you have a safe space in the place you call your “personal spaces?” (I guess this is sort of the same question as the previous…lol)
  • 01:56 – 03:07  Hypervigilance, hyperawareness, and the concept of a safe space; It’s importance
  • 03:07 – 04:14  What is a safe space and what does it provide? The focus of this episode
  • 04:14 – 05:28  How to make a safe space at home
  • 05:28 – 07:32  My example of a safe space within the home
  • 07:33 – 10:02  Establishing external safe spaces
  • 10:02 – 10:41  Sneak peak for Part 2 of S1E3 


  1. Write it Down:  Write 2-3 specific instances where and when you felt safe. Be very specific.
  2. Write it Down:  Write 2-3 specific instances where and when you felt unsafe. Be as specific as you can.
  3. Write it Down:  Write a list of 10 specific personal “red flags” and signals that tell you that you are about to enter into “stress mode (forgot that last part in the recording!). If any of these come up this week, observe the best time to break away from where you are…to go to a different, and safe environment. Some examples:
    1. The feeling like you would rather be anywhere else in the world, BUT the place you are in
    2. The feeling like you want to scream/yell at someone
    3. The feeling of helplessness
    4. The feeling of losing control over how you act
    5. The feeling of difficulty of thinking clearly
    6. The feeling of having more voices in your head than you usually do
    7. Felling “knots” in your stomach
    8. Feeling like you want to hurt yourself or hurt someone else
    9. Your mind going blank
    10. Feeling like you are starting to dissociate
    11. Having visual/emotional flashbacks
  4. Write it Down:  Write a list of 10 specific personal boundaries. Let this list grow, as you continue to notice when and where you are the most comfortable/uncomfortable


  • Thank you for those who have given feedback—both positive and directional. Your voices are incredibly valuable to me
  • Recent suggestions:
    • Spacing out thoughts/concepts with sound bits/effects (thank you Hoang)
    • Consistent recording volume/conditions (thank you Angel)
    • Inconsistent volume levels (thank you Angel…and thank you Jonathan for mixing/mastering my episodes)

Lastly, Is there anything that I’ve missed? If you have the time, I would appreciate it if you helped me make this the best for you, and leave an honest comment :).

Until next time…Stay Relentless.

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